We live close to each other, and that’s great, but its a nightmare when Edie is at our house. She’s mean, arrogant, disobedient and incredibly rude.
My wife and I love spending time with Buddy and his wife. Their younger daughter is 3 and adorable, though also very spoiled.
We don’t want to jeopardize our friendship, but it’s starting to wear on us to have Edie here without going off on them about her behavior.
How can we bring this to their attention without it seeming like we’re critiquing their parenting and upsetting them?
— FED UP IN ILLINOIS
DEAR FED UP : Is Edie mean, arrogant, disobedient and rude in the presence of her parents, or has she been invited to spend time with your girls separately?
If it is the latter and you don’t want Edie to negatively influence your girls by modeling bad behavior, explain to her that you have “certain rules” at your house and what they are. Make sure she knows that if she can’t follow the rules she won’t be invited again.
If Edie behaves this badly in her parents’ presence, tell Buddy and his wife privately that although you value their friendship, you no longer want their daughter over there because you don’t want her behavior to influence your own kids.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been divorced for 13 years and have been dating “Paul” for the last five years.
Paul is kind, helps with things around the house and loves my friends and family. We share many common interests and enjoy being together. We are now considering moving to the next step: marriage. We already live together.
The problem is that Paul is not financially responsible. He helps pay the bills, and we alternate picking up the tab when we go out. The house and assets are in my name. I earn more than he does, which is no big deal, but I do not have retirement set up or great insurance. If we were married, it would help my insurance problems.
Part of the reason for my divorce was my ex’s inability to manage money, which got us into a world of debt. I don’t want to go through that again.
